OGR 21/03/2012Morning Ernesta,Yes - your story is fine - and some of those hole-punch thumbnails are nicely expressive. One of your more technical challenges is to ensure that your voice track is suitably well-performed and well-recorded, because it's got a big part to play and needs to be good. In that last scene, of the ruined office, I think it would be nice if you added some additional animation for emphasis - for example, as we're watching, some paper falls off the edge of a desk and throws up a little cloud of paper dots or similar - just a little bit of activity to absolutely seal the deal. You're storyboard suggests you're already thinking about varying sorts of shots - from establishing shots to close-ups of the hole-punch - and this is good; you need to 'direct with a pencil' and make sure you're choosing a nice range of shots to convey your story effectively.In regard to your written assignment - I really, REALLY want you to work with Tracey Ashmore to improve your structure/written English etc. This aspect of your degree studies is holding you back a bit - and we don't want that - so please, get help, and ensure too that you complete your 'animation profiles' etc - because you do indeed need the practice - and only practice makes perfect, after all! The choice of subject for your assignment is a good one - as Władysław Starewicz is often overlooked in terms of stop-motion, so it will be interesting to see you address this imbalance by proving his influence etc. Make it a good one, Ernesta!