Hey Ernesta,Okay - a couple of observations etc.I think you should investigate methods for making your text 'jitter' and defocus a bit - it looks a bit too stable and sane at the moment; I'd also think about altering the font - for example, changing the font size of a few of the letters, or changing the spacing between the letters - I just think your text needs to feel more 'agitated' somehow. I'd suggest doing a few experiments and posting them in isolation - also, is the text 'above' the distressed 8mm filter effect - it seems a bit too clean; can you try putting the text 'under' that effect, because I think it will help being the text in line with everything else.Before, you had a sound effect as the typewriter lifted itself up - but it's gone in this version, and I really liked it before! You know I suggested using the type-writer taps for the leg impacts... it still seems not quite write somehow; have you tried taking the tap sfx and tweaking it so that it has a resemblance but isn't exactly the same? They feel a bit lost now (I know, I know, one step forward, two steps back,,,).I think the text inserts work - just seeing 'Gregor? What's wrong?' gave me an outbreak of chills and desperation for Gregor - BUT - in common with your title, your text is too pristine, too white, too obviously super-imposed - not yet 'of' your world. Personally, I'd avoid using white, perhaps colour pick something from within your world - and also you need to distress that font layer - eat into it, make it grubby, make it feel as if it's spawned from the art direction of that awful, horrible room - the text should feel made of the same stuff and reacting to the same forces and tensions - look again at the Seven titles and develop ways to agitate and better embed your text - you've got the time, so really push this aspect so it doesn't feel like a post-production 'add in' - but rather an integrative aspect of your art direction.Personally, I've never met a tutor who wants to be thanked in the credits of an animation - it's lovely of you, but I suggest you just ditch the thank yous and also adapt the UCA logo so it's not a white square, but just white text on your black background. Your credits are still part of your world, and right now I think all this other stuff is diluting your achievements elsewhere.I know - I'm pesky! :)
@ Phil,Thank you for you feedback! everyday I feel like I'm improving it. I think once I give myself a rest from it I start seeing things better the other day. So next day - new editing day! (:
sorry - loads of typos in my feedback - not quite *right* - etc. Sorry - hope it made sense anyway :) And yes - a day away from your own work always works wonders!
It does make sense! (: